January 12, 2008

Campaign merchandise review

Filed under: General politics — Alexander Omega @ 4:41 pm

Because of a change in finance rules, campaigns no longer give out the cool freebies they once did. Instead, they sell it to “donors.” Here’s a rundown of some of the more interesting stuff.

  • John McCain charges $75 for a ball cap and he has the gall to talk about the influence of money in politics?
  • Obama has a discount bin at his store. Look, Christmas ornaments! No Barack bobbleheads, though.
  • For a split second, my opinion of Ron Paul changed when I saw his store was selling Slim Jims. And then I noticed they weren’t beef. No questioning he’s snapped and is jerky, though.
  • How to look like an East Coast elite: Sell $125 sterling silver cufflinks as campaign merchandise. Plus lesser gold and silver cufflinks for the unwashed. Though the Louisville Slugger is really cool.
  • I’d heard Hillary was selling copies of “The Crying Game” on DVD on her site. Couldn’t find it, though I did find pork. Talk about livestock futures. I wouldn’t buy it, though, since I’ve heard her campaign considers anything put in it a campaign contribution. And their spending plans will break the bank.
  • Anyone else wish they’d shown Hillary modelling some of her merchandise? Like maybe this ear wrap. Especially if they’d move it down, say, four inches on the model’s face.
  • Hillary’s site also offers an ice scraper, a ruler (complete with one measurement for Dems and a completely different one for the GOP), and a highlighter. No shredder, though, which is a pity; any shredder that has the Clintons’ endorsement is the one I want.
  • Edwards is hocking a bag that is “suitable for grocery shopping.” One would have to hope so, since that’s the most use you’ll get out of it.
  • Edwards also offers party kits. Hoo-boy, that would be one shindig I just have to get into…
  • Obama sells white and black “hope bracelets.” Surprisingly, though, he doesn’t sell one that’s half-white and half-black.
  • Fred! actually labels some of his buttons as collectors’ buttons – including a limited edition button pack “individually numbered for authenticity.” Get a piece of history now! I guess. Or something.
  • Fred! also appears to be the only candidate offering an actual football jersey. However, if the material is as thin as it appears in the photo, no way my wife is wearing it. Outside of the bedroom, anyway.
  • I was extremely disappointed to see Huckabee isn’t offering any Chuck Norris items. I would have killed for an action figure set. With Kung Fu grip! See Chuck and Huck defeat the evil mullahs!
  • How weird is it that Huckabee and Gravel are offering fundamentally similar “I Like Mike” merchandise? Of course, if you changed one to pro-life or the other to pro-abortion, I’m not sure how you’d tell the difference.

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